


What Would You Do Without Me

by Minimaliminal



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Cute, F/F, Fluff, One-Shots, Sickfic, bossy gabrielle, grump xena, questionable hygenic habits, questionable sleeping attire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-09 07:16:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7791961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minimaliminal/pseuds/Minimaliminal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one-shots, in no particular order, about all the little ways Gabrielle makes Xena's life better.</p>
<p>Even though a certain warrior princess might be loath to admit it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sleeping Habits

**Author's Note:**

> Heya guys! So, I’ve been binge-watching Xena lately and I’m honestly this close to joining a xenite cult. If they exist. (btw, if you or a loved one know of or are involved in a xenite cult, call me ;) )
> 
> So, as an alternative to sacrificing a goat to our lady and mistress Xena and her holy bond with the goddess Gabrielle, I’m writing sappy fanfic.

“What would you do without me? Honestly, Xena. Sometimes I’m surprised you’re able to dress yourself in the morning” Gabrielle harped on as she laid out their bed rolls on a soft patch of grass. They were lucky to have stopped in a place with mostly dirt, rather than rock.

Xena sighed as she unfastened her breastplate and set it aside. Gabrielle just loved finding faults in her nomadic lifestyle. From her cooking skills, to her bathing habits to her lack of ‘modesty’. It didn’t seem to matter how long they travelled together, she just refused to understand that things like spices, soap and locked doors are in short supply on the open road. “I usually don’t have to.”

“Sleeping in full armor when we’re under siege and could be under attack at any moment is one thing. Doing it every night so you don’t have to bother with getting dressed is quite another.” Gabrielle shook a finger at her pointedly. It had been awhile since anyone had scolded the warrior, so a part of her was amused by the novelty of the idea. But most of her was just plain annoyed. She reminded herself as she took deep breaths how easily she could snap the small bard over her knee. Not that she would ever do that. She simply found the idea… calming.

“Well, I’m taking it off now. So if you get kidnapped in the night and I’m just two seconds too late to save you from death because I had to put my armor back on, you only have yourself to blame.” Her words were punctuated by the clatter of metal on metal as she dropped her vambraces onto the growing pile of brass and leather.

“That won’t happen.”

Xena responded only with a thoughtful silence.

“It won’t.” The girl assured herself.

Xena shrugged.

Needless to say, Gabrielle slept a little closer to Xena than usual that night. In fact she clung so closely that, in the haze of sleep, Xena wondered if she’d gained a new piece of armor. Made from some strange metal that smelled like flowers and snored.

And if her back and breasts were distinctly less sore the next morning, well it was just a happy coincidence.


	2. Bedside Manner

Xena was not sick, she assured herself. Spring was just setting in and the pollen was messing with her. Allergies made people’s snot turn orange, right? It wasn’t common, sure. But it could happen. So she wasn’t actually sick. There was nothing to worry about. Except that she had run out of things to blow her nose on and Argo was rather angry at her for getting her mane so crusty.

“We’re stopping at the next town.” Gabrielle announced. Xena didn’t like it when Gabrielle announced things. It disrupted the balance of their relationship. She was the one who announced things. That’s the way the world worked.

“What? No. We continue to Carthage.” She made an attempt at announcing it, but it came out wet and stuffy and just a little bit whiny.

“You’re miserable, Xena.”

Xena snorted, partially out of derision but mostly because it was the only way she could breathe through her nose anymore. “Pfft. ‘M always miserable. Life is misery.”

“We’re stopping at the next town for a rest. We need to stock up on provisions anyway.” Gabrielle insisted. Xena whined but somewhere deep inside, she was relieved. It felt like a fat cat was sitting where her brain should be and she wanted nothing more than to curl up in an actual bed and sleep for the next decade. Besides, Carthage was a big city. It could handle itself.

For many days Xena laid in bed chugging chicken soup and listening to Gabrielle’s uplifting stories about their adventures. She tried pointing out that there was only so much chicken soup that she could eat in one day and she really didn’t need to hear stories that she’d already lived through but her voice had gone. So she was pretty much doomed to hear Gabrielle refer to herself in the third person until she died miserably of whatever thrice-cursed plague had befallen her. Or maybe she’d drown herself in chicken soup before The Sickness could take her.

“Xena, are you awake?” Gabrielle’s sweet voice pulled her from her dark thoughts. She croaked an affirmative.

A rough, callused hand brushed her forehead. “Your fever’s breaking. Hey, I was about to head to the baths. If you’re up to it, you should come with. The water would be good for you!”

Xena was torn. She didn’t want to go outside, leave her bed, or be awake. But she also felt unbelievably… gooey. Also, she missed the sky. The four walls around her were beginning to feel less like shelter and more like a prison with every passing minute.

The feel of her crusty hair against her face sealed the deal. She needed a bath. She nodded, pushing herself out of the indentation her body had made in the mattress.

“That’s the spirit!” Gabrielle beamed, grabbing their bath supplies.

The only proper bath in town was a roman style public bath, which was both a blessing and a curse. On the blessing side, it had hot and steamy mineral water that cleared her sinuses almost immediately and it was open-air, allowing her to bask in the warm sunlight as she bathed.

“Oh thank the gods. It sounds silly, but if I go too long without a bath, I feel less… human. And let me tell you, cold rainwater does not do the trick.” Gabrielle sighed, her eyes closing in bliss as she lathered up her long, blonde hair. A couple of male athletes across the way ogled her openly as they oiled themselves up in preparation for a workout.

That was the curse of public baths.

Xena moved into the athlete’s line of sight and gave them The Glare. It may have been diminished by the fact that her eyes were watery and she had red chapped tracks of skin running from her nose to her chin, but it did its job.

“How’s your throat?” Gabrielle asked, breaking her concentration. Xena waggled her head in a way that implied that it was pretty much the same. “When we get back, I’ll brew you up a pot of chamomile tea. I’ve earned a little money in town from odd jobs here and there. Mostly babysitting. I might have enough to buy some honey. There’s nothing better for a sore throat than honey.”

Xena smiled as her friend went on about her mother’s favorite remedies from when she was a child. She was baffled that her companion hadn’t left yet. Such a soft, naïve thing as Gabrielle had no place in her life. Xena expected her to wander off after a few months after she got tired of the hard life on the road or just couldn’t take the danger any longer. Or if those things didn’t drive her away, surely the warrior’s own sparkling personality would. But here she was still, nursing her back to health even though she had nothing to gain from it. Through all the snot and misery, she was still there at her side, as kind and warm as ever.

She couldn’t say how much she wanted to punch herself for ever saying kindness was a weakness. Partly because there simply were no words to describe it, but mostly because there was sandpaper where her vocal cords should be.

“You’re hair’s gotten kind of tangled. Turn around, I’ll comb it out for you.”

Xena grunted something that would have been a ‘thank you, sweet angel’ as Gabrielle hacked away at the mess that her hair had become as gently as she could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprisingly enough, snot can turn orange. I know this from experience. Unfortunately.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration for this chapter came from the fact that I never see Xena take off her armor before bed and it gives my boobs sympathy pains.


End file.
